Almost two weeks without recording music. Nothing. Time just flew by since I tried to record a video for Once, thinking it would be just as simple as it was to write the song.
I spent the last part of June attempting to record something good, in a single take (out of a need for speed, really).
I tried three times, once, then stopped. The first one was a simple camera test, just enough work to leave things set up for the next day.
But having to test for clothing, lighting, focus, equipment, lyrics, backing track, sound levels, mic gain and… all by yourself. I think you get the idea. By the time it is all done, the last thing you want is to do 10 takes just to realise it’s all diminishing returns, and you are left exhausted. So I just tried once and stopped.
My next attempt was during the summer heatwave, just to have to give up at the first try because my MacBook was overheating…
As much as me. That’s it, 34 degrees in London is incompatible with life. And music.
And for the third time… the camera simply wasn’t recording. That’s it. All the planning and staging to forget to press the button.
By then, 10th of July, I was done trying to align everything for the sake of that one take that would capture the feeling. But maybe the feeling wasn’t quite there.
Since then I haven’t touched a mix, recorded a line or even think about it in too much depth. I have three trials of a good thing, and the need to move to others, while this gets ever more ready.
I am not frustrated with progress anymore. Send help. Something is changing.
All of a sudden, errors feel meaningful enough to be shared without embarrassment, proud of the effort it took to do it all by yourself.
I have been rehearsing daily for a few months years. But it didn’t feel quite like rehearsing until now. Once the output became clear, it stopped being just learning and training and it became something tangible.
Like you finally reach a ledge, when before it was just free climbing.
We inherently know when we are ready for something. What before was a chore to decide turns into split second decisions, walking through it becomes easier.
Lighter.
I forgot how much I enjoy the slow burn, to have the patience to create a lifelong memory of how hard it is to obtain some things.
Now I catch my breathe for a minute, getting ready for the next stretch…
demo 10.07.2023
ONCE
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